Rose, Thorn, Bud: A Simple Practice To Be Here Now

Lifeeee. Whether you're navigating the challenges of deep heaviness in a season of darkness, or just trekking along—some moments can feel like a struggle to stay afloat. We are not alone in that. But, I have learned something worth shouting from….this blog post: even amid the chaos, there are always always always moments of beauty and hope. Somewhere.

 I’ve been doing the Rose, Thorn, Bud practice with my kids for over a decade. I really, honestly, thought I made it up. (Turns out, I did not.)  It’s a simple yet powerful way to reflect on your day or your life. It only takes a few minutes but allows you to pause and consider what’s REALLY going on in your life—the good, the bad, and the things yet to come.

 Many of us use, or at least have heard of, gratitude lists to reflect on the things we are thankful for. The Rose, Thorn, Bud practice is certainly a version of that. Gratitude is an INCREDIBLY powerful tool. It can shift our mindset and open us up to the beauty in our lives, even on the gnarliest of days.  However, for a lot of us, sometimes when we sit down to list things we’re grateful for, it can start to feel more like a checklist or an obligation. (Gross.) We feel pressured to be grateful for certain things, even if we don’t really feel it in the moment. Instead of nurturing our hearts, we end up getting stuck in guilt or shame, thinking we’re not “doing gratitude right” because we’re not feeling the fullness of it. We totally lose sight that the goal of practicing gratitude is to simply cultivate awareness and appreciation, not to force ourselves into a specific emotional space. The Rose, Thorn, Bud practice is a flexible and authentic approach. Whether you’re in a good place or…definitely not in a good place, it helps us reflect on our lives without the pressure to feel, or be,  a certain way.

 The questions below are designed to help you connect with what’s going on in your life right now—no judgment, and no inner critic running the show.

Winter Rose, Buffalo NY, 2021

A symbol of hope and resilience

The Rose: Finding Beauty

THE ROSE. This is the beauty in life—the SWEETNESS. The rose represents moments of peace, joy, and connection, both on our best days and during the more difficult ones. Life isn’t always easy, but there are always always always little moments of beauty, even if we have to look for them.

So, what’s your rose today? These questions are an invitation to reflect on where the beauty was today, no matter how small it may seem:

• What is something beautiful you witnessed today?

• Can you recall a moment of peace or calm?

• What’s something that made you feel safe or comfortable?

• Where did you find joy, even if just for a moment?

• Did a song, book, or movie move you in some way?

• Was there a moment of relief or lightness in your day?

• Did you feel a sense of purpose or alignment at any point?

• What simple pleasure did you especially enjoy today—a meal, a drink, or even just a good cup of coffee?

• Was there a moment of connection with someone that made you feel seen or heard?

• Did you have the chance to offer support or space to someone else?

 The Thorn: Acknowledging the Challenges

This could be a feeling of frustration, a moment of disappointment, or something that didn’t go the way you hoped. The thorn is the part of life that we can’t avoid, but it’s also part of the process. (You know it’s true.) Acknowledging it, in all it’s fuckery, helps us move forward. 

What is your thorn today? It might feel uncomfortable to sit with, but taking a moment to reflect on it can help you process and move forward. Or, move forward while processing. Here are some questions to guide your thoughts:

• At any point today, did you feel lonely or isolated?

• Did you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by anything?

• Were there moments of anger or frustration you couldn’t shake off?

• Was there someone who let you down or disappointed you?

• Did a regret or missed opportunity weigh on you?

• Did you experience any disappointment or setback?

• Did you face a “shadow loss”—a change in your life that’s painful, even if no one died or something overtly ended?

• Did someone else’s joy poke at your own sense of sadness or longing?

• Was there something you had to let go of or no longer do?

• What in your life feels heavy or burdensome?

• What’s something you’re afraid of, even if you can’t quite put your finger on it?

  The thorn is a reminder that pain and struggle are part of the process. Acknowledging it, even for a moment, is an act of self-compassion.

 The Bud: Holding On to Hope

Finally, the bud—a symbol of hope, growth, and what’s to come.  

 What is your bud today? What’s sparking hope in your life right now, even if it’s just a flicker? Reflect:

• What are you looking forward to in the near future?

• Have new opportunities shown up in your life, or is there a possibility that excites you?

• What parts of your life need nurturing, attention, or care?

• What are you hopeful for, even if you’re not sure how it will play out?

• How has your sense of hope evolved over time?

• Is there a specific time of day that brings you a sense of peace or energy?

• What season of life are you currently in, and what do you love about it?

• Is there a meal, snack, or activity you’re looking forward to?

• Are there any books, shows, or movies on your mind that you can’t wait to dive into?

• Who in your life always brings you joy when you see them?

• What inspires you to keep going or try something new?

Reflection: A path to coming down to Mars. (iykyk)

By giving ourselves these moments to consider the good, the difficult, and the hopeful, we can find just a tiny shift in perspective. And babyyy, do you know what happens with just a tiny shift in perspective? MIRACLES.